Complicit : Erasure of the Body, Written Submissions

These are the collected written submissions from artists participating in our March 3-April 8th 2019 Nasty Women Connecticut Art Exhibition.

Liquorice, Emmett Burns

"Top surgery is like Black Liquorice-
The candy in the jar that everyone wants until they get it in their hands and realize what it is
I remember looking down at my stitched on nipples, jagged, staples and stitches across my chest
I held back tears
I remember getting the drains out and how it was nothing compared to the arm hole surgery but that may have just been the fentanyl at work
I remember schizophrenic nights, the narcotics mixed with my psych meds, drawing me further and further from reality
I remember trying to masturbate for the first time about a week post-op but I couldn't move my arms like that
I remember the purple, blue, green, yellow of the bruising and the fear that my nipples would fall off
I remember stitches and skin flaking off and I remember infection in my right side where a stitch came out too early
I remember the pain and the pleasure and god, the relief,
But I also remember the depression, the post-op sadness that lingers in the dark
No one talks about it.
I remember them bringing me coffee as I recovered,
I remember my phone resetting
I remember not being scared as I closed my eyes in the O.R.,
I remember not being afraid of dying."